Sex in the time of Corona: answers to your questions
We are living in a crazy time. The rules seem to change every day. There are so many difficult aspects of this epidemic: loss, uncertainty, isolation, grief, inequality, poverty, fear. How can we find some semblance of pleasure when we are experiencing a crisis? As a sexual health counselor, I hope I can provide a little relief by addressing questions you may have about self-care and joy from this realm. I have been hearing about your concerns and I would like to respond.
Initially, I thought I would compile a list of questions I have been fielding, responding with quick answers. I mean, who has time for sex anyway when larger issues are hanging over our heads?
Well, it turns out that many people have questions right now and are trying to figure out how to navigate a healthy sex life. Sexual expression is an inherent part of who we are and it is your basic human right. Even though we are in an unprecedented health and economic crisis, sex is still important and deserves attention. So I am going to dig deep into one question at a time.
Let’s jump in!
Is it safe to have sex?
The quick answer is yes, with some modifications. As you are very well aware, the COVID-19 virus is very contagious, and the priority right now is to stay healthy and to keep others healthy. But, you can still have and enjoy sex. By far, the best information I have seen in response to this question is from the New York City Department of Health (https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/doh/downloads/pdf/imm/covid-sex-guidance.pdf) This document was published at the end of March when people were just starting to get used to living in the age of COVID. Please read this, it gives great advice.
Did you read it and see how the article began? It states that the safest sex partner you can have is yourself! When was the last time you heard a government agency promote masturbation! What comes to my mind was the 1994 forced resignation of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders for supporting the integration of masturbation in school sex education programs to prevent HIV transmission. Yay, some progress here!
This is a great time to explore and learn more about your body for yourself, to improve partnered sex, and to improve your health. There are many misconceptions about masturbation. No, you won’t go blind. And neither will it decrease your experience with partnered sex. In fact, people who masturbate claim to have more highly satisfied and more frequent sex than people who don’t. It helps you stay healthy in many ways, including what needs to be prioritized right now: decreasing the spread of the Coronavirus.
This may also be an opportune time to invest in some fun sex toys and other aids to enhance your experience with solo sex. And please, when you do buy your fun gadgets, consider making purchases from independent shops who are suffering due to the economic implications of this crisis. Places like A Woman’s Touch in Madison, Wisconsin, and Nomia in Portland, Maine are just two of many independent shops that need your business.
Remember the rules of good handwashing and cleaning of your toys, this applies here as well.
The next safest sexual partner(s) are people who are living in your household who have CONSENTED to have sex with you and who are not experiencing any signs of illness. It is not considered safe or recommended to have any physical contact, including kissing or sexual activity of any kind with anyone you are not quarantined with. As hard as that is, the risk of spreading and contracting infections are too high. It is important to remember that this time will not last forever, even if it feels like it will.
In the meantime, stay healthy and be good to yourself. If you have specific questions about your sexual health during this time, I would love to hear from you. Please send me a confidential message by clicking here or give me a call.
All my best in peace, health, and love,
Susan
Susan Kamin is a certified nurse midwife and a sexuality health counselor. After many years of helping people give birth and be born, she is now providing personalized integrative well women care at Lifecycle Women's Health in Readfield and Brunswick, Maine. She sees people across the lifespan with a focus on care during midlife/menopause and sexual health. She enjoys sharing her wisdom in the hopes of helping people find pleasure, knowledge, and empowerment in their bodies as they go through all of life's transitions.
